my BLACK and WHITE life

I cheated death today after tuition. It was around 945pm and I was trying to cross the road behind some stupid bus that was parked at the side. Because it was hugeass, I couldn't see the cars that were approaching. I assumed there was no car approaching because there were no headlights shining on the road, hence, I just walked. Suddenly out of nowhere, some stupid audi sped past me without its headlights on. A few inches more and I probably would have died. When I got home, I saw my cousin's car badly smashed. Apparently, he knocked down some dude and the guy was bleeding from the head, arms and legs.
That dude and I had very similar experiences, yet I'm so much luckier than him.
The ironies of life, which I can't comprehend.

I was thinking about my life on the bus just now. What have I been doing for the past 2 years. I was the one who chose this jc route, nobody forced or pressured me. I still remembered when my mother told me to go poly rather than jc. Yet, I had the typical mindset of poly being inferior to jc then, and I was afraid of people laughing at me that I'm a poly boy (no offence to poly ppl, really), I always tried to convince myself that I came to jc because I have no idea what to do in the future. Now as jc life is coming to an end, I realised I have not achieve anything. Perhaps, jc isn't exactly my cup of tea cause I'm neither good in my studies, or good in my cca. Maybe my piano teacher was right. I might be musically talented cause I do have some passion for music. Maybe its the only thing I can do well in. I figured I will probably learn some new instrument or continue with piano after A's. And also my theory.